aldaraia

I Return

Firstly, I would like to apologize for my lateness. It’s been a rough couple of weeks in the personal part of my life, and at the time I felt as though dealing with those issues was more important than Aldaraia. How wrong I was. I will do my best in future to not take two weeks between posts, partially because I feel like I’m gaining a little bit of a following on this blog because, but mostly because the lack of accomplishment has driven me into a horrible, gut wrenching depression, whereas posting on this blog made me look at the things I hadn’t been getting done and encouraged me to actually get work done. Again, my apologies.

Now, to business.

Some of you followers may be aware that my “day job” is acting as recording and mix engineer/producer for local bands/artists or bands/artists who come across my portfolio site and want me to work for them. Recently, I have taken on Earthgrazer as a client, and will be mixing their upcoming four song EP, if they are content with the preliminary work that I do for them. This, ideally, will not eat into Aldaraia time, and instead will eat into Reddit time.

I am telling you this because I am going to outline my to do list for the week:

Mix Risk: Risk has been sitting in my to do pile for months. Every time I attempt to mix this song I get distracted or angry about something and never get anywhere, and I feel like this song being unmixed is a huge hinderance to my forward momentum. 

Mix The Day We Died: I recently redid the vocals for The Day We Died (recently in Aldaraia terms being a couple months ago) and haven’t yet had the opportunity to work them in. The bass needs to be re-recorded, and then I can finally get down to putting this behemoth together. 70 tracks is hard to get on top of.

Write Two New Demos/Experiment: After hours spent deep in thought, I believe I have once and for all come to the root of my recent writer’s block, and it is a tremendous let-down. My inability to write hasn’t been creative difficulty, inability to come up with something new. It’s simply been laziness. I’ve determined that recently so much of my time gets spent finding something to do, and never doing anything important. When writing And When The Sky Was Opened, all I did when I wasn’t working was either read, eat, or sit at my keyboard or with my guitar, coming up with new ideas. Now I just spend time on reddit, walk around looking for stuff to do, take a nap. I’ve lost that drive that was in me, and I can’t say what pulled it out of me, but I believe that it was stagnation. Even after AWTSWO was released I was working, but then I went to visit my family in Northeastern Pennsylvania, and being trapped in the mountains for two months without any privacy and without the full facilities to which I had access before I left sucked that motivation out of me. When I came back I was stuck on that routine of shitty food, reddit, nothing to do all day so I’ll just find shit to occupy my time.

So, I need to get myself back into the habit of working all the time. No more tedium. No more distractions. Block reddit, block facebook, turn off the phone and do some damn work. By the end of the week I am going to have 2 new demos, regardless of length or quality. I am also just going to take time to fool around on the keyboard or with my guitar just making sounds, not necessarily taking them anywhere, but just doing it for the hell of it to get myself into the habit of doing it.

The last bit of stuff to do is work on Earthgrazer’s EP. So far, in my opinion, it’s gone well, but I am currently awaiting their reply to my first mix. If they’re into it, this will be a fairly big chunk of the coming weeks, but considering the anger and drive I feel in myself right now, more than I remember feeling in a really long time, I will be getting a lot done soon.

Two final items to discuss: RPM and That Night, A Forest Grew.

I’ve been listening to a lot of Richard Lainhart’s work over the past few weeks, particularly his later work with the Buchla 200e. The man was a mighty composer, and a fantastic human being, and I regret not having the opportunity to meet or work with him. As a result of my listening to his music, I have decided to, potentially, undertake the RPM Album-In-A-Month challenge, working only with the new version of my Reaktor modular synth Modulo. I will state right now that I do not expect to complete the challenge, considering the fact that I have an album to work on, but I do expect to release what I do complete for Aldaraia, as it has been almost a year since my last release. 10 songs or 35 minutes. It’s possible, just unlikely that I will complete the task.

With regard to That Night, A Forest Grew, I am done considering a potential release date. It would have been nice to release the album on July 1st, 2012, but I have decided that I will finish this album when I believe it is done. This does not mean that I am delaying the release, just that I am not going to rush myself. Instead of that, I plan on working on a bunch of music all at once, occasionally assembling those pieces into releases and then releasing them to sate my, and my fan’s appetite. This album is pulling a lot out of me, emotionally, and I do not want to take the chance of releasing something that does not meet the expectation that I have of it.

I do not expect this album to take another year to write, and I am still shooting for July 1st, 2012. When April comes around, I will begin more seriously assessing what I have completed, and if I feel what is done is the ideal representation of the concepts upon which this album touches, considering the time I’ve put into it and the facilities available to me, I will hand the tracks to Jason for sequencing in May, mix through May and June, and release it in July as originally planned. Otherwise, I will probably push it back by 6 months to January 1st, 2013. I do not want to keep pushing this album back months at a time. I have no idea how long I will be in this emotional state, how long I can continue attempting to write this album. If I feel I have crossed that line, where I’m no longer writing this album and have moved on to another one, I will reassess what I have, assemble it as best I can, and release it in the form most appropriate to it.

We’ll see.

(Source: modulo23.com)

Happy New Year

Firstly, I would like to apologize for the wait between blog posts. It has been a very hectic two weeks, what with Christmas and New Years, but thankfully this time is over and I can get back to work without interruptions.

I won’t say that the resolve from my last post has carried perfectly, but that may and likely is a result of the complicated state of my personal affairs the past few weeks. I fully intend on taking the next 2-3 weeks to shut down and get back to work because I am feeling the itch more than I have in a long while.

I have 1 new song demoed, 1 scrap of an idea that’s been stuck in my head, and I am going to try and get something new demoed or sketched out every few days so I can get some of these new ideas out.

I apologize that this post is all bones, no meat. It hasn’t been a productive two weeks, as I’m sure is the case with just about everyone. I can say with certainty that the next post will have more to discuss.

Resolution

It was not a good weekend.

I was browsing Reddit when suddenly a great tidal wave of self-realization hit me. How much time have I wasted when I should have been working on the album in some capacity? How many hours of every day went into watching Mystery Science Theater instead of writing? How many browses through the same links and pictures on Reddit? I’ve been working on the same album for two years, and while ultimately that’s not bad in and of itself, I have so little to show for it. I should have twice the number of completed songs, should have artwork done. I should be further along. I am not afraid that the album won’t be done, but honestly I am a bit afraid that it’s not going to be up to my standard when I hand the music in to Jason in March.

I know I’ve essentially written this post before, but right now all I can say is that I am recommitting myself. I cannot stand this feeling of having nothing to show for 24 months of “writing.”

In other news, after discussing with Jason my writing process, I think I am going to take the next few months in another direction. Since the start, I’ve expected Jason to take my demos and put them in an appropriate order, and recently I’ve begun to feel that it’s hindered my writing momentum. It doesn’t leave me a structure to fill, so I just kind of wander aimlessly, musically. I have no idea of a beginning, middle, or end, and I feel like it’s killing my ability to consider the structure of an album, so I’ve decided to approach the task differently, and redefine Jason’s job in the process.

The album will be comprised of two parts, and each part will be comprised of five songs. Of course, each song will have alternates, and Jason’s job is to determine where alternates should be placed, and make adjustments within the parts, with regard to structure. This frees me to write an album, and focus on structure and presentation, which I believe will provide me with appropriate limitations to foster a more structured and creative writing process. Now I can think in album terms, not in song terms.

Hopefully this new resolve, and new structure, will help push me along to finish the album up to my standard so I do not have to delay it another time. 

(Source: modulo23.com)

Progress

As I type this I am listening to the 14 completed or near completed demos for “That Night, A Forest Grew,” mulling over what they contribute or, rather, don’t contribute to the overall theme and tonality of the album. I can say with certainty that at least five, closer to eight of them are confirmed to be given to Jason for culling and sequencing. This leaves me with five months to bring the others up to snuff and/or write more, better demos.

Had you asked me 3 months ago I would have suggested that that was an insurmountable task but after listening to this music I am feeling rather optimistic. If you break it down, it looks like I’ve only completed about a song a month, but rather I went through sporadic periods of not really working, wasting time on Reddit and playing games, never getting anything done. This past week has reminded me why I chose to be a musician in the first place. I’ve blocked all the sites that wasted my time, gotten cheap food from vaguely reputable restaurants, and destroyed my hearing and racked my brain creating and shifting all of this music. These are habits I intend to keep up, as I’ve gotten more work done in the past week than I have in the past month.

Keeping this on task will finish the album, and the other ancillary tasks like rebuilding the website (again), promoting and generally growing as an artist and a band, in very short order. Prepare for some optimistic blog posts in the coming weeks.

Back To Work

I, unfortunately, took the last week off of album work to polish off some personal things, but I have already dedicated this next week to working on the album. I have a list of things to get done, including mixing a few songs, redoing harmonies, editing lyrics and continuing the process of reaching into myself to figure out what I’m trying to do.

Though I took a break from any work this week, I did do a lot of listening to what I’ve done over the past year working on this album, seeing all the things that have come of my time and effort, attempting to discern what, beyond the story and theme I have outlined, I am attempting to say with this music and these lyrics.

As a part time producer and engineer, when not working on Aldaraia, I’ve collaborated with enough artists to know that I operate differently. I don’t spend as much time working on lyrics as I do studying concepts, philosophies and ideals I want to convey or dispute through the lyrics. As such, many of the lyrics on every album are as much flow of consciousness as they are structured and refined. I spill words onto paper and I rearrange and revise until the core idea that built them and put them to paper is mingled with the concepts I am attempting to convey.

I am not objective enough to say whether this leads to good or bad lyrics, but what I have observed is that from time to time I honestly do not know what I am writing about until I decipher it myself. This often leads to very emotional periods of time where I need to stop working and come to terms with what I’m saying, or periods where I am reminded of why I pursue Aldaraia, and music in general, as a career and lifestyle.

I do not want to go too in depth, as the whole theme, tale and concept of the album is complicated and intended to be open to interpretation, but I have discerned from what I’ve written so far that I seem to be settling on the ideas of trepidation and confusion with regard to one’s physical and emotional situation. About the knowledge that one has to move forward, but being afraid to, and about the dissatisfaction with one’s current place but the fear of potentially being unable to change it.

Obviously specifics and reasons behind this are personal, but I will say that even I am unsure what of those themes are me, and what of those themes are the concept.

I can say with certainty that I will be sleeping less and less through the next week, watching the same films and reading the same books, holding fast against insanity. Hopefully.

Epic

Epic may just be my least favorite adjective, but it is truly the only word I can think to accurately limn “That Night, A Forest Grew.”

To be clear, I mean “epic” in the sense of “grand in scale or nature.” Not only is this album going to be lengthy (only 2 songs of the current 15 demos are under 6 minutes long, with the longest topping out at 9:04), but everything about it is on such a scale that I am genuinely concerned about my ability to follow it. Every track is intricately layered, with some tracks doubled or even pentupled. Each track is dense and lush and they all evolve in a way I was unaware I was able to bring to fruition.

Even after hearing them all hundreds of times each, I still get the feelings of awe and excitement I got the first time I heard them in their final arrangement. The emotions and ideals that inspired the songs still burn fresh in my mind in my veins every time I hear certain phrases or sections, even entire songs.

As I type this I am listening to the newest demo for what I imagine is the ten-thousandth time, and I still am not bored of it. It is dense, loud, lengthy and everything I hoped it would be. 7 months until this album is released. I am more excited than I have ever been.

(Source: modulo23.com)

Mid Week Update

I recovered rapidly, and am back on the horse, as it were, and working hard. Spent 9-6:30 today working on a mix, after spending all of yesterday rearranging to combat some acoustic issues in my work space.

On top of this, I finished lyrics for the new song, as well as finished all the demo vocals for it. As a result, the mix is not complete in the slightest, but it’s closer than any other song to being complete.

Today has been a good day, friends. I hope you enjoyed yours. Happy Thanksgiving.

3

I am everything negative at this moment. Sick, tired, lazy, and unaccomplished. It has been a startlingly unproductive couple of days as a result of my current state, but I should be out of it tomorrow or Monday.

In other news, I assembled a ZVex Fuzz Factory clone on Thursday and have spent the time since learning it and making noise. That is the nearest to an accomplishment as I’ve achieved in the past three to four days.

A few songs have gotten a mix makeover, and I have a couple new riffs and demos waiting around for me when I get to feeling up to working with them.

I have recently determined that I need to take much more care in writing down chords and melodies. In working on the mix for Lyon, I determined that I forgot the chords for the first part, and thus I can’t redo the guitar without spending a few hours determining them. The only thing I remember is that they are among the more complicated chords of the album.

I apologize for this being a short update, essentially without new information, but my brain is simply not working at full capacity right now. I may do a mid-week update once I actually have something to show for it.

Lyrics

Album Update Number 2 (I guess. Trying to make these weekly)

The past week has been and near future will be comprised almost entirely of lyric revisions.

While listening to and researching Rosetta’s “A Determinism of Morality,” I gradually grew enraptured and envious of their music. By no means am I considering revising the direction Aldaraia is taking (if it could be said that Aldaraia is going in any particular direction), what I meant was more…stylistically and philosophically, particularly in relation to their lyrics.

I am unsure who among Rosetta is the main lyricist, but almost more than any other lyricist he achieves what I strive toward: telling as much as saying. They are portraying a tale or narrative, while simultaneously discussing philosophical and psychological concepts in a concise and complex way. Upon revisiting the lyrics that I’ve completed for the songs that have them, I’ve determined that only 3, maybe 4 songs achieve what I want them to lyrically, and that is to do the same thing Rosetta’s lyricist does.

As I’ve discussed previously, there is a narrative that I am intending to get across, but that is not my ultimate goal. There are ideals, philosophies and considerations that I want to express in the music and lyrics that I create, and as of right now I truly do not feel that I am achieving that ambition quite yet, and thus I am taking the next while to work on lyrics and revise what I am trying to do. 

Hopefully this is not wasted time, as these “focus weeks” have been previously.

(Source: modulo23.com)

Album Update

I know that I mentioned I intended to do this more frequently, and I never did, so here’s me making up for it. I’ve even set a calendar reminder to do one of these every week. I apologize that I haven’t kept up with it. Would that I could say it’s because I’m too busy writing, but the truth is that it just slips my mind.

Now, to business.

The album is moving along nicely. Having finally chosen an exact date to have things done, some of the pressure has been lifted off me. As a result, I have decided that 2 years between albums, with smaller releases in between, is an appropriate amount of time. It takes some of the pressure off of me, keeps things fresh and gives me the space and ability to progress myself and the music.

As of right now, there are 13 songs done or close to done. 14 if you count the rewrite of “Root And Stem,” which, let’s be honest, you shouldn’t be. if I keep up a decent rate, I should have somewhere around 20 songs to give to Jason in April. This is more than acceptable for me, and as such it is keeping me focused.

This past week has seen the completion, in structure, of the longest Aldaraia song so far, clocking in at 9 minutes and 3 seconds. It is a doozy, but after all the work I’ve done and the number of times I’ve heard it, it still hasn’t worn out its welcome. As of right now, I need to finish up lyrics and work on a title, and then get back to tracking. The only word I can conjure to describe it is “epic,” but I feel that word has been watered down far too much.

Beyond that, this past week has been as much about me as it has Aldaraia. Been performing singing exercises, getting myself to work out and eat right again, been reading more and studying more. I’m entering the phase of the album where I need to define in the lyrics what I am trying to say, and during this part one can never have too much time spent studying philosophy. I am also returning to the old stand-bys, in terms of literature. House of Leaves, Cloud Atlas and The Raw Shark Texts to be sure. Also rekindling my appreciation for Lovecraft and Poe. I also discovered a novel by a writer named China Mieville entitled “The City And The City.” It is a very strange, almost Lovecraftian consideration on two distinct and opposing cities and populations occupying the same region. It was quite a tale, and I wholeheartedly recommend it to those of you looking for new literature.

To summarize, the album is making progress and is moving in a direction that not even I could have predicted. Expect it on July 1st, 2012 at 12:00 am.

(Source: modulo23.com)